Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Randomize
