yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
