Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
