This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
