does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I just forgot I was standing up.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
