Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
