marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
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