So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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