when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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