? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
