honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Randomize
