There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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