my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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