I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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