she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
