after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
