I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
