that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
