I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Randomize
