i permit you to call me
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
no. you can't hotbox the world.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Randomize
