More tranny stories later!
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
A+ Viking dick
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