haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Randomize
