Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Randomize
