How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
