you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
