Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
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