Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
