I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
