HIV tests are more positive than that guy
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
