New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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