Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
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