i permit you to call me
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
