I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
