Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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