If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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