i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize
