Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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