No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
