im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
