you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I just want nice things and good sex
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
you said you heard a baby, so i told you to go feed it. you came back 2 hours later with a pizza and when i asked you where the baby went you pointed to the pizza and puked.
Randomize
