I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
