Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
