Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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