doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
