JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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