do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
what day is it and did you see me today?
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
