I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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