you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
