Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Who died my cat blue again?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I'm eating cold pizza from work and drinking beer from a wine glass trying to decide if I want to shower or just rub one out and go to sleep. How have I ever gotten laid?
Because you're really hot before taking the time to actually get to know you.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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