a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
My feet surprised me
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
