help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
