My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
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