HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
