But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
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