so that wasnt chicken after all
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
